Living on in my memory

Fourteen years ago today my grandfather died.  Gramps as I called him.  After he died, I wrote pages and pages of all the memories I had of him, so intent on not forgetting one thing that I loved about him.  The way he hugged me so tightly I thought my ribs would break.  Or how he would always brag about how he could get more tan than me in the summer.  How he would dance around the kitchen and sing 'Hello Dolly' or let us fix his hair like Vanilla Ice.  I can still remember how his booming voice sounded when cheering for me at ball games.
I read these pages every year on the anniversary of his death and suddenly it's like he's right there.  The little things I might not have thought about in a while come back and I grieve all over again for losing one of the most amazing men I've ever known.  But I hold his memory in my heart and I always will. 
He was such an important part of my life, I only wish my kids could have known him.  I know they would have loved him as much as I do. 
I found out I was pregnant with my daughter a couple weeks after his funeral.  It was strange in some ways to say goodbye to one life and hello to another.  I will never understand why he had to leave this life before I felt like it was his time but I know I will see him again. 
That will be the most heavenly part of heaven for me.  Seeing those I love again and wrapping my arms around them and never having to say goodbye again.   At times like this I feel so homesick for eternity.
So today I will read my memories, I will laugh and cry and remember.  And I will be thankful that I was able to know a man as amazing and Daniel J. Afeld.  I love you gramps!!

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